March 10th, 2006

hugh house

Due South Reccage: Marcella Polman's Quits

Have I told you guys how much I love marcellapolman's fic? Well, if I haven't, may I earnestly recommend the plain beautiful Quits, which is Fraser/Kowalski fantasy hooker fic, and the sequel to shayheyred's Doppelganger. It's plottier and gives the rationalisation behind the "game" and has the most incredible emotional depth. It's rather mind blowing.

See? *boom* That was my mind blowing.
hugh house

(no subject)

This is the sound of me falling apart with nobody to hear.

I wish I had phoned dad when this started, and to hell with the fact it was past midnight, because now I'm crying and I can't stop.

And I can't see me anymore, because there isn't any me left.

They've taken it all away, and all I'm left with are the pieces and they're beginning to fall away too.

b, way too emotional and upset, way past her bedtime and dreading the morning.

leaving comments on, because I'm afraid I'll scare you more if I turn them off.
  • Current Mood
    depressed rock bottom
hugh house

(no subject)

Thanks, everyone, for the whole support thing, it is much appreciated.

I did call my dad, and here is what I learned:
  1. Phoning somebody up at three in the morning, and bursting into tears and telling them you love them makes them think you're suicidal
  2. Which I wasn't, or at least not this morning I wasn't
  3. bbd says he loves me regardless

It says something about my brainset that the last one was a bit of a shock.

Explanation, or why buzzy started gibbering wildly:
  1. Headaches suck and have eaten my life
  2. I've realised that I don't have much in the self-worth field beyond academic success (and porn writing)
  3. The above point makes me an even more fucked up bunny than I thought.
  4. Also, I invest way too much in what people think
  5. The headaches have eaten my school-work and my capacity to do said school-work and this is the year of my finals and my diss, and I'm seeing my supervisor/personal tutor this morning...

      bbd's just phoned again, proof that he is cool:
      1. He just made a buffy reference. On bunny-boiler novels, "well, that's what Anya thinks should be done to them"
hugh house

(no subject)

*doesn't know where she put her link to the Zotaku Word Count meter thing*

So, the news re: extended essay:

Pages chock full of typed notes: 30+

Amount of Essay written: 104 / 4000-6000
I started actually writing paragraphs today, cut me some slack

Amount of reference works in Bibliography: 3

Meeting with Personal Tutor / EE Supervisor: short, unpastoral, resulted in some serious library hunting.

Cost of Lionel Scott's "Historical Commentary On Hdt Book 6": $199
Proving that The Brill are really the devil's agents

Number of times supervisor told me to consult same: 2 in ten minutes

Chances of actually getting my clammies on library copy of same: dubious

Offers made to buy same made by bbd: one
That bit scares me
hugh house

Good News!

The Hornblower hath spoken. He sayeth worryeth not about ye booke that costeth $199, it is too ponderous and I cannae lend ye my copy for it is needed by my students of phud.

Well, that's how I'm reading his email.