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Tell me again, why do I need one of these things?

In which buzzy gets a-dressed and stuck on the daily mail

In which buzzy gets a-dressed and stuck on the daily mail

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planetary: crazy monkey
Okay, I am so tired right now. Went shopping with mummyfrog and bbd. I came back with a really nifty orange plaid shirt, a somewhat dear scoop-neck green t-shirt with embroidery around the neckline (more accurately the boobline) and another summer dress. I'd forgotten how many summer dresses I own. To quote Mr Monk: It's. A. Mazing"*

Anyway, this one is a sort of warm grey one with tulip-like flowers in shades of pink, beige and pale green. This is the most horrible description of a really pretty thing.

Anyway, I also tried on a (quite pretty really) small-print floral skirt. It made me feel like the Mavis the fairy in Willo' The Wisp. This is not a flattering comparison. Especially from me about me.** Mavis is a rather plump fairy who is too heavy to fly. Seriously unflattering.

Another Anyway, cleaning budgies can be as distressing as being in a Greek tragedy. Our budgie is possibly the stupidest bird since Orville the Duck** and that is saying something. Anyway (again!) I am in charge of budgie hygiene.

There's a routine. Cover kitchen floor with newspaper. Add birdie. Separate bottom of cage. Get contents in bin bag and turn over. Budgie doings stay in bag while I pull base out and reline it with sandpaper and budgie-grit (for a healthy croup). And feed the thing all the millet it will eat (infinite).

It went wrong. For the first time ever, I managed to cover my jeans with "budgie dust" (ugh! kept telling myself it was seed husks). Then at relocation-time, I thought "I can't walk into lounge with seed on, it will go everywhere" SO I took off my jeans (okay budgie walking in knickers might be embarrassing if you are not me) and then my socks. And some of it stuck to my feet. So I wiped them down with the dishcloth. Smart, eh? Until I tried to move my feet and stuck to the newspaper. I used my other foot to get free. Even Smarter! And got stuck with both feet. Got free. Found I had newsprint ink all over feet. And couldn't move anywhere for fear of inking the rest of the house...

I ended up screaming for help until dosk came and wiped my feet down. Really Classy.


*Almost certainly the only bit of Monk I actually like is the theme tune. The rest of the time I find the "laugh at the hilarious people with serious mental health problems do really strange things" shtick incredibly unfunny.

**Willo' The Wisp was a strange british cartoon (because all cartoons made in Britain in that period were somewhat disturbing) featuring a host of strange... people?... in a wood. Willo' himself was Kenneth Williams (for people with limited exposure the camp one with a superiority complex in the "Carry On" movies) a sort of fuzzy thing... Mavis is a rather plump a fairy who is too heavy to fly. The villain is a walking "television witch" how goes around cursing people and being crabby and plain horrible. There is an episode when Arthur the Caterpillar plays Pong on her. For the curious (or just plain baffled) there is a handy episode guide here and I'm sure a little you-tube-ery will enlighten you further. Just don't ask me about the 2005 remake, it was commisoned by Playhouse Disney which says enough on its own... and they made Edna widescreeen and she had to hop around on a pedestal... they TOOK EDNA'S LEGS!

***Americans, rejoice that you don't know about this. At the time, I really loved Orville and I can't imagine how many long car journeys were enlivened by his cherry tape-cassette adventures. All together now, "Orville We Love You, Please Don't Fly Away"
  • oh i don't miss budgie cleaning at all.
    The Kitsune method: Clean cage while budgies are trapped in bathroom. Take cage outside, dismantle, and hose off ala Hercules cleaning the Augean stables but in miniature. ta-da!!! Dry with towel. Put papers and sand back. =D
    • Mine is a little bit neurotic, getting him out of the cage would be a marvel. He's also a very senior budgie and he doesn't have the flap he used to have.

      Outside is not my friend. I've tried flapping his tablecloth out of the door but the wind always changes direction specially for me. At least it was (really) only husks and feathers.
      • Aww...you don't handle the little guy? Or he's very shy? Mine was hand reared and i could pick him up and grab him and squeeze him and call him George. =)
        • He is scared of everything, really. Our first one (which lived to 15!) was very tame and used to sit on mum's hand and do its manicure pedicure. This one we inherited from my grandmother when she moved into a home. (He's probably 8-10 years old) He used to escape his cage and my grandmother would throw nightdresses at him to catch him. Admittedly they were very thin night dresses and she was using them as a net substitute but it clearly frightened him.

          Until recently, he was afraid of seed-bells, budgie biscuits, apple slices, other seed objects... and anything else that would vary his diet from a millet every two days and trill. He went and sat on the other side of the cage and not go anywhere else. About two months back, I made another attempt to interest him in lovely new seed-sticks. He's now hooked on that too. He gets this "not another millet" look on his face.

          His predecessor, was one-bird Great Escape. Including burrowing under his sand sheet and had some nifty yoga moves to escape through the feed troughs. He learnt to open those from the inside. Not the best companion for a sightly shaky old lady. Although (like every other budgie I've met) he had a fascination with his reflection. He liked to run along the bottom of his cage to see whether the other bird (he could see in the shiny base) would run along too. Hours of birdie amusement.
  • It made me feel like the Mavis the fairy in Willo' The Wisp. This is not a flattering comparison

    Hee! No, not very flattering. And Kenneth Williams was the voice of every single character in that btw, not just Willo' the Wisp. I love that cartoon, and I introduced my tiny relatives to it at Easter. Have you seen the one where the Moog learns to think and then gets trapped in his own thought bubble? Or the one that breaks the 4th wall and has Edna threaten the audience? They're so bizarrely brilliant.

    I loathed Orville though.
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