?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Tell me again, why do I need one of these things?

Brain Doctor : Why I Might Have Just Stayed in Bed

Brain Doctor : Why I Might Have Just Stayed in Bed

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
nightcrawler: sleeping
Okay, Brain Doctor time (yay!) so I had hoped that I could get some feedback/reassurance at my continuing (and going down the pan) speech/communication problems and the Really Scary Thing that happened last week. So,

My only real condition is my migraines and everything else is in my head.

i.e. psychological, psychosomatic and made up

i.e. what I need is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

i.e. repeating mantra like "my head doesn't really hurt too much so I am not depressed"

i.e. no, I don't have any regard for cbt mostly because it is stupid in this context

i.e. if "everything else is in my head" then why am I so depressed?

i.e. oh yes, I have spent ten years with a headache and I don't have a life

i.e. what is that recurring thought that really enjoys my depression and frolics happily there?

i.e. like "what if this isn't real and I am just making it up because I am too useless to face up to my life suck being so keep believing in magical pink unicorns...

i.e. brain doctor says get a referral to psychological services

i.e. every single time she demands this (or my real-world doctor gets worried) the referral gets bounced

i.e. I SHALL WRITE A LETTER : show them the letter!

i.e. yes and it gets bounced and then I get referred to counselling, wash, rinse, repeat

i.e. missing the point here...

i.e. the speech problems are not real, the memory problems aren't real, the sentences that disappear are not real, the total word finding hell is not real,

i.e. the falling down stairs is not real, not being able to keep upright is not real, the slurred speech is not real, the total confusion and fear which happened last week is not real...

i.e. ... that is the really terrifying shit is not real

i.e. nobody gets a second neurological condition on top of original headache condition

i.e. it is not real, keep taking the pills and go away for the next six months

i.e. go and get referred to psychological services

i.e. every single time this bounces and my real-world doctor has been trying otherwise for ages

i.e. so what. i will send a letter. doctor will send letter to mental services

i.e. and it gets bounced -- the bloody letters have been bounced for years

i.e. SO...

i.e. i cannot treat you for the migraines when you have continuing problems that might be over-shadowing any symptoms that are Not Real

i.e. the Symptoms That Are Not Real could be masking the Symptoms That Are Real

i.e. so I can only deal with the Condition until the Symptoms That Are Not Real are eliminated so I can then deal with the Symptoms that Are Real

i.e. i have just designated which Symptoms Are Not Real and Special Thinky Therapy needs to be applied until you have only Symptoms That Are Real

i.e. i have just designated which Symptoms That Are Real so you know which Symptoms Are Not Real

i.e. everything that is "All In Your Head" and has nothing to do with your Brain condition

i.e. so keep taking the pills and go the fuck away for six months

PLEASE SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP THIS POST! *CRYING*

eta

i.e. unless you want more of the treatment that caused your fits

i.e. the fits that were entirely co-incidental

i.e. which is why I want you back on the pills despite everyone else rating this as a bad idea

i.e. or those pills you took in Year One that were so noxious that your gp promptly binned them

i.e. or that week-long hospital treatment which was not terribly successful in your last cycle

i.e. which the rest of my team have advised against for mental trauma like the registrar who tried to cannula your foot

AND NOW I AM TOO DEPRESSED OUT TO ACTUALLY FEEL ANYTHING AT ALL
  • *hugs* That sucks so much, bb. :( I wish I could do something to help. *hugs more*
  • modern medicine is so primitive. :( *HUGS*
    it's not in your head. PAIN IS REAL.
  • {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Maybe it's the fucking inept doctor who isn't real!!!!!!

    Sorry this is going on. I wish there were something I could do to make it better. Chronic pain is enough to make anybody depressed. A bloody doctor should know that!! It's a vicious cycle. I hope cyber hugs help, 'cause that's all I've got.

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    Photobucket
  • Wow, that's like the definition of torture, right there. If they were trying to break you, it'd be hard to do it more effectively.

    That's just evil. And utterly reprehensible. I hurt for you.

    *all the hugs*
  • I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, Buzzy. It really sucks and I wish I could help. :( *hugsandhugsandhugs*


    (sorry for the multiple edits! I kept using the wrong icon!)

    Edited at 2012-07-31 08:54 pm (UTC)
  • Oh dear god! That sucks!!!!! There's nothing worse than doctors who don't listen.

    {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
  • *HUGS* I know I never really comment on your blog, but I do read this. And goodness, I know this....so well. The only difference is that my insurance doesn't bounce my referrals.

    But the helpless, going around in circles feeling? Yeah, I know that, intimately.

  • How the hell did you get stuck in Dr. Kafka's practice? I thought they pulled his license after the business with him leaving a cockroach as his locum....
  • Christ Almighty, that sucks.

    I've had fairly good results from CBT*, but I have straight up depression, in pretty much textbook form. And everyone is different.

    Don't let anyone bully you. If you really seriously feel that your Brain Doctor is fucking you over like this, explore your options to try to get a new one. S/he's there to help you, not to impress hir own prejudices on you. And listen to the rest of your team if you can't trust your own feelings on this.

    Most of all, *GIANT HUGS*. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. You're not helpless, and you're not alone.

    * Though I've spent enough time on the internet that this acronym makes me snicker inappropriately in group therapy.
  • Oh sweetie. ((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))) x infinity

    I'm with innocentsmith - listen to the rest of your team, because they sound sensible, and try and find a different Brain Doctor.
  • oh buzzy, i am so sorry this is all happening and that you seem to have been put into a medical catch-22 of the worst possible kind.

    i really hope something changes. (also, i'm a bit worried by the designation of symptoms as Not Real. if you are experiencing things then... then you are experiencing them. right? physical or psychological causes - both have real results, so i'm not seeing the logic behind this categorisation. and that kind of language - real vs not real - sounds.... yeah. i am not a fan.)
Powered by LiveJournal.com