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Tell me again, why do I need one of these things?

Headaches, Consultants and Letters: I want to cry now.

Headaches, Consultants and Letters: I want to cry now.

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welsh: headdesk
If you have met my charming Consultant and Top Expert who Runs the Entire Department in the Best Hospital before, you know what is coming...

The Real Headaches

It's indescribable, really. Basically, some Headaches/ symptoms are Not Real and are covering up any Headaches/symptoms that Are Real. The Consultant knows which Headaches are Real Headaches and the Not Real Headaches. Not Real Headaches are in your Head - these need to be removed before I can treat the Real Headaches. The Consultant knows which Headaches are Not Real and therefore need Removal by Special Thinky Therapy that needs to be applied until you have only Headaches That Are Real

You need to read the whole thing to get the full effect:



It just gets better.

We finally got the Consultant Letter after two months of chasing.

My Headaches are all NOT REAL HEADACHES and are the product of my PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS such as a BODY DISORDER and a LACK OF COPING METHODS. The NOT REAL HEADACHES - every HEADACHE is now designated as NOT REAL - are psycho-somatic, deluded and any real symptoms are a RESULT of the Medication Provided for the REAL HEADACHES that NEVER EXISTED. None of the epileptic symptoms were caused by NOT REAL HEADACHES but due to MISAPPLIED MEDICAL TREATMENTS intended to cure the NOT REAL HEADACHES. Likewise, anything else abnormal or brain-related is the MISAPPLIED MEDICAL TREATMENTS implemented by DOCTORS to treat the NOT REAL HEADACHES. So, all these DOCTORS were a) WRONG b) PULLED INTO MY DELUSION c) provided information and symptoms which my PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS turned into the NOT REAL HEADACHES.

So, BUZZY really should never have been treated for REAL HEADACHES because her headaches are NOT REAL HEADACHES. So, Buzzy should keep taking the tablets treating the NOT REAL HEADACHES as if they were REAL HEADACHES which they are obviously not. Instead, the NOT REAL HEADACHES should be sent to see a CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST who will diagnose the PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS which the CONSULTANT has already diagnosed and will, therefore diagnose BUZZY as a HUMAN PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM suffering from BODY DISORDER and a LACK OF COPING METHODS. And once we have eliminated the PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM then the CONSULTANT can get on with treating her HEADACHES which are all NOT REAL HEADACHES.


So, BUZZY had to explain to HER FATHER that a BODY DISORDER is not a PHYSICAL DIAGNOSIS that confirms that the CONSULTANT somewhere really does understand his daughter's real medical problem and is taking it seriously. BUZZY wanted the floor to swallow her when she explained that BODY DISORDERS are not a physical diagnosis, but related to anorexia, bulimia

BUZZY is doing a lot of *WIBBLING* right now.

So, BUZZY'S heart is somewhere in her boots right now.

Partly, this is because her Dad has spent the last two months telling her that there is nothing to worry about, really, and she should stop worrying about the letter. That she was so upset and thinking the letter would be like the consultation.

BUZZY knew this letter was coming, she recognised it before she even read it, she had imagined this so much and anticipated how hurtful, cowardly and wrong it was going to be.


*** P.S more of this in my comments if you want to get even more confused
  • (no subject) - eledhwenlin
  • Sounds like utter rubbish to me. Isn't there recourse to get a second opinion? Surely!

    • yes this! omg this is so barbaric they are treating you this way. :(
      • I've just talked on the phone with my Real Regular Doctor and he is so not amused and isn't sending me anywhere vaguely near the Mental Health Team.

        What is interesting is that earlier in the year, I got sent for counselling for anxiety stuff mostly - number one strategy: accepting that my headaches are not my fault in any way and I shouldn't keep looking for reasons they are.
    • I have a second opinion, it is called my Real-Life Doctor who says I am going nowhere near Mental Health People and he is trying to get me booked back on the Head Injection Programme. The HIP actually works pretty well. Also, the Consultant there is cute and not scary. Ended up explaining phrenology while he made little tiny holes in my scalp. He thinks it is weird but so is sticking botox in superficial nerves.
      • Well, I'm glad to hear that the "real-life" doctor has some common sense. I hope the HIP works and you're feeling better soon!

        BTW, Happy Birthday!
        • Bbd says thank you for the birthday wishes and he hopes your train will get sorted out soon.
          • Thanks. They say it could be weeks before it's cleared. Two of the derailed cars in particular are full of highly toxic, unstable hydrogen fluoride, another corrosive chemical that can cause severe respiratory damage. The car that exploded was supposed to be empty, but it's still burning after two days. They're pouring tons and tons of pumped in water over the cars so they won't explode. The hydrogen fluoride, if it got airborne, could be a real toxic disaster.

            I wish to hell they'd stop transporting that stuff through populated areas.
            • It reminds me of a field-trip (yes, a school field trip) to the local nuclear power plant where we were shown the special yellow nuclear material moving train and then watched a video showing another train hitting it (crunch). It was cool when you are ten and disturbing when you get older
              • Oh, dear, I understand. As I kid, I would've thought that was great fun. Now, I'd be sleepless for ages.

    ETA It is a PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM because BUZZY Refused ACUTE TREATMENTS when offered by CONSULTANT on THREE PREVIOUS OCCASIONS. The two ACUTE TREATMENTS offered by the CONSULTANT were not MISAPPLIED MEDICAL TREATMENTS. The offering of the ACUTE TREATMENTS is based on the diagnosis of REAL HEADACHE. With a NOT REAL HEADACHE diagnosis there would be an absence of ACUTE TREATMENTS. It follows logically that no ACUTE TREATMENTS is a diagnostic of NOT REAL HEADACHES. If they were REAL HEADACHES (which are actually NOT REAL HEADACHES caused by PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS) and the ACUTE TREATMENTS applied, they would be

    a) another anti-epileptic DRUG that was one of the first BUZZY was tried on, but the CONSULTANT says was not tried out properly or over a suitable time period. This is the same DRUG that BUZZY'S regular doctor whipped her off of so fast because rooms kept changing size.

    b) that HOSPITAL TREATMENT where BUZZY spent a week being pumped with INCREDIBLY HORRIBLE STUFF every eight hours for five days. The INCREDIBLY HORRIBLE STUFF has a range of nasty side effects, especially the bloody stuff is corrosive and burns out veins. So, you keep looking for new veins to stick the drip into. BUZZY has veins that collapse when you try and stick things into them. So JUNIOR CONSULTANT tried to stick a canula in BUZZY'S (fucking) FOOT and everyone got traumatised. Especially a REGISTRAR who ended up running away to cry after a really bad experience. So, all the OTHER JUNIOR CONSULTANTS have been advising against the treatment because of the FUCKING TRAUMA and VAGUE RESULTS.

    Edited at 2012-10-30 10:03 pm (UTC)
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