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Tell me again, why do I need one of these things?

Hello Internet People! I'm just checking in here. I have the Evil…

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hugh house
Hello Internet People!
I'm just checking in here.

I have the Evil Consultant on Thursday. I am still trying to get cold-and-focussed me to come along.

Hopefully, it will kick ass.

Otherwise, I am going to get as wibblescome and freaked as usual, which plays into her "its all psychological" and her recommendation that I should be head-shrunk until I believe it.

And they complain about my low self-esteem. Last time I say the counselling person, what hit the top of the list? Low self-esteem, blaming myself for my problems, the "I was never good enough" thing...

Basically nixing the "its all psychological" guilt trip.

[Not only Evil Consultant is a cow; she is an unoriginal cow. I managed that diagnosis in week two - hence inner head mess - also, the "get back" theory, the "I'm a fake" theory. "I'm not intelligent - I'm a con job" theory...

There's a lot of that. Which I have been "not thinking about" quite successfully 90% of the time. Now it's just getting a little deafening here]

Yaddaa Yaddaa Bing Bong.
  • Good luck! I really wish they would stop blaming your headaches on psych issues. :( so demeaning.
    • I hope you kick the cow good and hard in the udders or somewhere equally painful.

      Isn't there any way you can get a different consultant? Or at least get an opinion from someone qualified that it isn't psychological to shut her up? I swear, the whole medical treatment thing is such a lottery sometimes on who you get to see as to whether they will be helpful or not.

      (Also, you can take the "I'm not intelligent - I'm a con job" theory and flush that straight down the toilet. There is no evidence to support it and it should therefore be discarded on the grounds of scientific method.)

      Good luck.
    • Whoops, sorry originalkitsune, that was obviously meant to be a reply to buzzy's post, not your comment.
  • Ugh ugh ugh ugh!! I'm so sorry that this is happening to you, but unfortunately not surprised. I've had that diagnosis a couple of times myself, and it is disrespectful and unfuckinghelpful. I had a neurologist tell me once that I was having headaches every day because I was not embracing life enough. She seriously actually told me that I was not doing enough fun stuff.

    I don't know if I've recced this to you before over the years, but I highly recommend Paula Kamen's book All in my Head. It's about her life dealing with chronic headaches, and includes tons of research about chronic illness in young women.

    What some people really don't seem to understand is that chronic pain is upsetting. And dealing with it on an ongoing basis is fucking soul-destroying. It would be a wonderful christmas miracle if you could live with it as long as you have without some psychological impact. THIS DOES NOT MEAN IT'S THE CAUSE. Jebus. Sometimes I think I'd make a better doctor.

    Good luck with the appointment, sweetheart. Don't let her push you around.
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