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Tell me again, why do I need one of these things?

Why am I now followed around by an Iron Fist plot bunny. The whole…

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Why am I now followed around by an Iron Fist plot bunny.

The whole Turn Left (if you like New Who) and that excellent classic: the machine of unearthly delights, the [plant. mechanism. person] that gives the lead character everything they have ever wanted. And now we have the Iron Fist version -- Danny's family together in K'un L'un (everyone's favourite secret himalayan city) and he has (unseen) brothers and the whole set of family (including the grumpy grandfather Orson playing with his great-grand-daughter with a blimp-shaped kite and L'ei Kung The Thunderer lovingly teaching Danny's kid to kick) and even Davos being a rather nifty special uncle type who has been coaching Danny's brothers (Solomon and Elijah) how to dive ready for the Big Coming-of-Age Event.

The twist being... none of it is from Danny's point of view. It's Joy Meachum*

{and now I've lost the entire jist of this just because I googled Joy's name.} _epic fail_

As Joy is Danny's semi-current girl friend (who has a History with the family -- it's her dad who pushed Rand senior off a mountain to gain control of their entire partnership/business -- what is better than owning half a heavy-engineering business than owning all of a heavy-engineering business)...

Anywhichway, Joy isn't pulled through the cloudy magic floaty portal, even after some Danny encouragement: they are so happy there and his parents are in the background, but when her father (the guy who kicked Rand Snr off the bloody mountain) swims into view (he and Danny's parents were on an Expedition to K'un L'un and he was sensible enough to leave his kid at home) and it turns out they all made it to the Seventh Celestial City of Heaven (no giggling in the back seats, kids) and are all happy in the sun-shiny cherry-blossom kung-fu utopia and he meant (and tried) so hard to reach her and take her "home" with him.

To the lovely world of k'un l'un where Joy is swept of her feet love-bombed with her beautiful children, loving uncle type Lei Kung (who may be fond of Danny et al, but his teaching methods are not gentle and supportive) and the (ever charming) Orson Randall (who in the real world actually owned a blimp as a member of the Confederates of the Curious -- possibly the last of the gentleman-adventurer generation) with a serious soft-spot (which feels rather canon for a guy who died within about two days of being introduced) for adorable kids (and Danny's father) and all the girls in pseudo-oriental dress. Thankfully, Danny is not wearing his pyjama suit (which he probably feels rather embarrassed about since he went to the real world and met the naff satin look) and has a serious yellow-and-green thing going.

And at the edge of Joy's vision there is Blue Eyed Girl (seriously) who says it's not real, that she (BEG) can't be real here. BEG is in her normal black psuedo-ninja look -- pointing out that she cannot exist here but does. This is in a world where Orson came back to K'un l'un or possibly never left (which is grade-a impossible as BEG might point out) and so would never have found orphan Wendell Rand(all) who would never have gone to America and had a son and (personal canon) unhappy and abusive marriage intentionally to produce (yeah, Wendell is not a nice person in my personal canon which makes Danny's [canon] romantic idolisation extremely ironic* [which is hinted at a little in canon for irony value] and the impossibilities abound and are pretty noticeable to Joy as she is almost carried away by the sheer warm bath feeling (I'm trying not to have a pee-in-the-pool metaphor here because it's untasteful and I can't make it work right) and that nagging feeling in the back of her head...

[how real is BEG in this? is she just an embodiment of Joy's doubts? I don't think so as they probably aren't aware of each other]

... something seems wrong as the August Personage In Jade floats along hissing scarily. The APIJ is the ruler of K'un L'un and (basically) you never see him/her under all the layers of cloak, veil, and other clothes. Hissing is not something APIJ (who seems to be a guy, but who can tell?) does. Nor for that point, cute not-a-ninja (personal canon in-joke) BEG creep around that much (uh... actually she does -- she is one of Lei Kung's pupils, you learn fast around LK and sneaking is a survival asset) and so,

The classic Something Isn't Right trope is right there lurking darkly in Danny's imaginary world where he is loved and happy and having a wonderful immortal (iron fist)*

Trust me, there are more leaks in this boat than Julian Assange. For starters, Joy cannot be the hard-core aggressive feminist business-ninja she is in canon. Which gives something for Joy to fight as she struggles against the whole subservient oriental woman look (let's think about it, Danny grew up with this normal -- he is freaked out when he comes to America -- mind, he is freaked out with everything) and the urge to wear hair-combs and giggle behind men's backs. Again, BEG cannot exist in this house-of-cards -- killer suffragette revolutionary wearing black are noticeable in their absence.

And back to the Magical Danny Dream World, Joy is having a cold back-shivering wrong-signal as they all walk down to the lake to watch the other Rand brothers show-off at the weird carnival-like excitement/anticipation that the kids aren't going to make their dives (more than that, survive them) from some tall water-side pagoda buildings into the great big lake...

Joy really needs to wake Danny up before Reality starts correcting itself only for it to Break Danny as each person he loves dies (increasingly) tragically including the never-were kids, the live parents, Joy's (canon dead) father, the (rather dead) Orson (murdered in the real-world by Lei Kung's adored son) and then the people who didn't die in our Reality start to die in this one...

...and in the real world

Joy really needs to get Danny out of this place soon, the world that Danny could never want to leave.

*apparently, continuity has goon crazycakes since I last read about Danny and the Living Weapons (I have the strange suspicion that the storyline was nixed for arch-plot-marvel-event purposes which is annoying since the Brubaker/Aja run sorted out a lot of the mess left behind from years various k'un l'un chaos continuity plot-development) and since then Danny has got stupidly powered-up beyond his original abilities -- suddenly he can do all kinds of super-stuff, when his appeal (to me at least) is that he is an incredibly developed and trained base-line human in peak condition (he's always been a bit of a work-out obsessive) and a rather limited but nifty one-time-only power.

*hey, I said "ironic" and this is a post about Iron Fist *rib!jab*

*Danny's full super-heroic name is the Immortal Iron Fist -- generally, I've always taken it as the power being immortal not the actual end-user. However, if you have been raised by a bunch of immortal kung-fu head-cases (not something to say to Danny's face) it is entirely possible that the whole sacred warrior job comes with benefits. He also gets notoriously home-sick while in America -- in this scenario, it never happens (which is sort-of impossible unless Joy has been joyfully ret-con-ed (after her arrival) into having come with her father).

N.B. This is an entirely Luke Cage free zone -- if Danny never left k'un l'un on the trail of the killer of his father (which, incidently makes Danny's very existence impossible) then he never meets everyone's favourite Angry Black Guy with No Fashion Sense (do not point that out in his hearing) -- maybe he starts manifesting as the whole thing collapses, it would make the whole Joy saving Danny team up thing a bit (ha!) more exciting (for that matter, what about Misty?). In some other fic, some other time, we really need to hook BEG with Colleen Wing (Misty's favourite crazy kick-ass white girl and secret samurai)
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