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Tell me again, why do I need one of these things?

Went to West World + [paranoid homophone] and bought trousers that…

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animal: omg llamas!
Went to West World + [paranoid homophone] and bought trousers that fit! And are my length! Yay!

Shops say there is a "short" length available in their trouser range. I have very rarely seen the beast. In fact, I think they keep them at head office, in the basement, in a toilet with "beware of the leopard" on a sign outside.

[this is a very bad paraphrase of a wholy remarkable book]

[okay... it's this book]

It's "the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy" which is a "remarkable book":

[Spoiler (click to open)]"It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard."

If you haven't read H2G2, what planet are you on? It is nothing like the movie. Please erase the movie from your consciousness. If you haven't seen the movie, DON'T!

I do, however, recommend the original bbc audio play that kicked the whole thing off.

The 1980s bbc television version is, also, amazing. Plus, everyone here loves Marvin. [and if there was anything more wrong than the rest of the movie, it was Marvin.] [Brits: the real Marvin appeared on Top of the Pops with his single "Paranoid Andriod". How could it named anything else?]

Both were writen by Douglas Adams. [i.e. the author] The movie was writen by idiots.
  • I confess I much prefer the original radio series to any of the books of H2G2 - possibly because that was the version I encountered first. Though I do have fond memories of the 80s TV version (particularly the green graphics) I always found it distracting that Ford was played by a different actor than on the radio and therefore sounded wrong to my ears!

    I didn't think the film version was too terrible, though having said that I don't remember much about it so that argues it also wasn't that good! I liked how they did the Book, and I thought the design in general was cool (aside from Marvin, who should not be round).

    I had the very entertaining experience of going to the live theatre production of the radio series several years back - the original Ford, Arthur and Zaphod (and possibly Trillian?) all on stage in front of mics, with a radiophonic workshop on stage for effects, Jon Culshaw reading the part of the Book (with occasional impressions sneaking in) from an armchair and a person-sized puppeted Marvin. We had a sing-a-long of the "Share and Enjoy" song at one point, it was great!
    • Janne! *glomps*

      "Here I am, brain the size of the planet..." is not infrequently used here (uh, at home) normally a rather down dad but we have been known to say it simultaneously.

      dosk is of the opinion that the movie is darn awful and they chopped out a lot of the punch lines and excised original bits and replaced them with not!amusing inserts (which is why they cut out lots of the punchlines. dosk and family saw it on tv [I got out of the room fast citing headache. dosk wishes he did too] There is a reason the project was in development hell through adams' lifetime.

      what turned me off before i even saw it was that they had invited the leader of the fan club on set visits, which were fun, cheerful and enthusiastic, and after they showed him a rough cut, he gave his opinion in the online newsletter that it was disappointing and missed some of the magic but he was sure first cuts could be misleading but he was less than overjoyed.

      the film company set the legal wolves on him, harassed him and the stress nearly tore him to little bits. he shut the whole thing down because he just wanted them to stop. :-( it rather turned me off the whole thing and the thing they did with zaphod was just so wrong.

      we have the official radio show recorded off-air and it was awesome.

      also, the theatre thing sounds so cool.

      non sequitur: i had a h2g2 screensaver with some of the television book graphics. :-)

      • Life, don't talk to me about life... *grins* I got the two original radio series on cassette tape for, I think, my 11th birthday? (I'm pretty sure my Dad listened as it was broadcast) and me and my best friend would listen to the first episode on car journeys together, to the point where we could both just about recite it in time! (The first episode, because when we got home we would separately finish the series before the next joint family trip and so need to start again - much to our parents' irritation!)

        A couple of years back, said best friend got me the whole lot of radio series on CD in a box set (I still have the cassettes too), though I'm not really a fan of the later versions they did based on the books. It's the 1978/1980 ones for me, the others just don't have the same magic.

        I'd forgotten about the chopping out the punchlines in the film, that was annoying! And I think I just tried to generally blot out everything to do with the film Zaphod... plus much as I like Martin Freeman, Simon Jones is the only Arthur Dent, accept no substitutes.

        Did you ever come across the computer game? I found out a while ago that it was famous for being ridiculously impossible, and I can certainly testify to that. Despite many attempts, we never got anywhere with it at all!
        • Is this the computer game you are thinking of?


          [blame dosk, he found it]

          [Douglas Adam's other computer game, Starship Titanic is even more obtuse]

          Tell your parents it could be worse. We had an Orville and Cuddles story tape. "Oooh, you manky monkey"

          dosk and i say things simultaneously and drive everyone around the bend. we like quoting things.
          • That's probably it - mostly I remember having to give up in extreme frustration every time we attempted to play it!

            Orville and Cuddles, oh boy. Your parents have my sympathy!
            • I've been trying! Even with the so-called hint list I still keep getting dead. Repeatedly.

              The puzzles are "what the fuck right now?" and "how the fuck was I to know that?" [the answer to the first one is to take the aspirin in the dressing gown pocket and then the room will stop shaking because you are hung over] and there was one puzzle which took me so long to get that the game tried to help me.]

              How do you feel about Jasper Carrot?

              [dad filled the mp3 thing when he bought the car and everything has been looping for the last two-ish years: jasper carrot, steeleye span, a really awful folk music album, two 'radio plays' and leonard cohen's greatest hits

              there is more but I think I might lose the will to live.

              all of us bought him cds for Christmas - a hint that hasn't quite been taken up yet]
              • I am frankly amazed that the game tried to help you! I sincerely believe the game is Douglas Adams' own version of the total perspective vortex, where attempting to complete it will eventually melt your brain.

                Jasper Carrot! I had forgotten about him, but we used to watch his show as a family. I imagine his humour loses something due to age and repetition though... Mind, your Dad does get props for the Leonard Cohen.

                My dad would probably have been quite happy to listen to his classical or jazz tapes on family outings (this was pre-CD players in cars) but back then it was the rest of us who objected. When I was really little we had tapes of a show called Lorenzo the Llama, wholly voiced by Johnny Morris who I suspect you are much too young to know - he had a show called Animal Magic, assisted by a young Terry Nutkins who went on to be on The Really Wild Show which you may have seen. And a comedy band tape that I can't remember the name of, or any songs, and one of children's tales. I suspect my parents were actually quite pleased when I was old enough for the H2G2 tapes and some radio 4 compilation that was entirely about mocking Margaret Thatcher! And less pleased when I became a teenager and wanted my music, but I had a walkman then...
                • I think it was only because it couldn't kill me if I stayed unconscious.

                  Douglas Adams also wrote another text adventure called Bureaucracy, which was designed to drive you around the bend. It came in a box full of various forms, handbook etc etc

                  [the goodies were also a form of 1980s copy protection - the game would ask you questions based on them. They also used code wheels and a lone scratch-and-sniff thing. they're called 'feelies']

                  My mother used to borrow audio book cassettes (sp?) from the junior library, copy them and then take them on holiday for us to listen to on road trips (sometimes on headphones). We have a strange hive memory thing about 'Grinny'. Also, mum somehow obtained a tape of the sort of children's songs she liked from when she was little (i.e mid fifties onward) which was quite possibly more annoying - I can still do much of the Toothbrush Song, Ernie and Nelly the Elephant.

                  To make things even worse; channel four had a time when they put George Formby movies on the summer holiday morning slot... my brother loved them and when Mum and I went to the Ideal Home Show (why?) we bought him an audio tape of them...

                  [the IHS is one of the most boring things ever. we ended up going through the cadbury chocolate experience three times for the free chocolate. I must have been 10. I doubt it has improved]

                  edit - peculiar spelling

                  Edited at 2018-02-04 05:13 pm (UTC)
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