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Tell me again, why do I need one of these things?

For some reason I am not entirely sure of, [does that need a comma?]…

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transmetropolitan: suspicious spider
For some reason I am not entirely sure of, [does that need a comma?] I am still trying to write Bob's version of The Talk. Bob considers himself a quite modern parent and when compared to Fraser's grandmother certainly is. I also have a mental version of how he tries to convince his mother that masturbation is not a crime against nature etc but now recommended by physicians in order to [verb] the function of the [equipment?] mechanism and prevent blockages and such like of the [tubes] and ensure

Argh! I can't do Victorian!think this early in the morning.

Also, Turnbull works in Criminal Intelligence but has a special role in the new era of Forensic Computing with reference to the internet. [I'm sure I can fit that into Mountie!speak with some effort] --->
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